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3 Keys to Boost Your Communication.

Have you ever felt that you were absent in a conversation that was really important to the person who shared their experiences? Have you ever been preoccupied with your own thoughts during a business meeting, or over the phone? Have you ever wished you would rather be somewhere else?

As I am writing these questions, I imagine you sitting there, silently nodding with a guilty smile. It is so easy to be absent to others, because we are always present to the most important thing in our life: ourselves. On an unconscious level, we always ask the question: "what's in it for me?"

Have you ever noticed how your disinterest can turn into keen anticipation in an instant, once you realise that the person you are speaking to is there to help you or that you could benefit from their information, help, etc.

Perhaps you have even been on the receiving end of that kind of behaviour! I know I have. It's not a nice feeling, is it? In fact, it can be rather infuriating, disappointing and frustrating.

So how can we stop ourselves from this rather selfish behaviour? How can we make others feel good all the time? How can we become a magnet that people want to be with? There are three simple principals that, if you remember them, will improve your personal relationships as well as your business relationships. And what's more, it will make you more present, popular and empowered.

1. Principal:

Listen with your Heart: "When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen." Ernest Hemingway When you listen with your heart, you give the speaker the greatest gift. Pay 100% attention. It is the simplest way to make another human being feel accepted, appreciated and empowered.

2. Principal:

Pause before you Answer: The power of the pause is often undervalued. "One of the basic causes for all the trouble in the world today is that people talk too much and think too little. They act impulsively without thinking. I always try to think before I talk." Margaret Chase Smith If you pause before you respond, you ensure that the other person has actually finished speaking. You also show that you really listen on a deep level and carefully consider your response without jumping to hijack to conversation or bring your own point of view across.

3. Principal:

Clarify before your Respond: Paraphrase and summarise what you heard the speaker say. This has several benefits: It demonstrates your attentiveness. It avoids misunderstandings. It makes the speaker feel validated, respected and understood. And what's most important: it builds strong relationships and trust. Try it on for a day or even a week. You will be amazed how good it feels to make others feel good by giving them the gift of truly listening.

Inspiredly Yours,

CHRISTIANE

Stagecraft Specialist and Speaker's Trainer

Three Keys to Effective Communication

We are always communicating, even when we are not speaking. Knowing how to communicate clearly and congruently is key. It can save relationships and marriages from misunderstandings that lead to break-ups. It can avoid business deals from falling through because of poor communication. It can even stop wars. So what are the effective keys to avoid all misunderstandings and conflict?

1. Be aware what you are communicating unconsciously

2. Adopt a win-win attitude

3. Learn active listening Unconscious Communicators: Communication is made up of body language (our posture, gestures and facial expressions) (55%), tonality (pitch, volume, tone etc.) (38%) and only 7% words.

Most of the time we only focus on our words, whereas it is our body and tonality that expresses how we truly feel. For example: I had a client, who was angry with her staff for not following simple regulations. When she talked to them about it, her words were chosen very professionally. But the feedback from her staff reflected that she was very abrupt and sharp. There was an incongruence between what she said and how she said it. Her tone gave away how she really felt.

It is our tone and body that communicates our thoughts, emotions, feelings, attitudes and beliefs in spite of us. So how can we learn to create congruency inside ourselves with ease to communicate more effectively?

Win – Win Attitude:

We have to adopt a win-win attitude. How do we do that? By getting out of a competitive mindset, letting go of the need to be right and developing at attitude of curiosity and non-judgement. How do we do that? Understand that everyone has a different internal make-up of different beliefs, values and experiences, therefore different reference points. We all live in the same territory, but as soon as we make sense of the world internally, we all create a different map.

Knowing this will enable you to approach people with curiosity to learn about their map, rather than to impose yours. The meaning of our communication lies in the response it gets. What do I mean by that? Take full responsibility for your communication at all times and if you don’t get our desired result, think about how to re-communicate your point differently, in different words and with different examples.

Active Listening Skills Listen to understand not to respond and give the speaker your undivided attention. It shows that you value that person. Ask clarifying questions: “For what purpose do you want to fly to Rome?” You may discover that you both have the same intention, just different solutions of how to achieve your goal.

Christiane Hille

Handy Tips:

SPEAKING IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_a1R-thXfXg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZB9fiHbZlZA